Never Let a Turtle Touch Your PS2
by Flower Gal Aeris
Summary: TMNT/FF7 crossover | What happens when our favorite ninja-skilled Turtles break the rift between their Manhattan world, and the world of FF7? EXTREMELY incomplete... more added on the 18th.


Never Let a Turtle Touch Your PS2

By: Aeris

(11/18) I got reviews ^-^ And I wrote more. I feel so loved.

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Yes, I've gone this far… a TMNT / FF7 piece. (dodges the rotten tomatoes) … anyway… the mandatory legal crap: FF7 belongs to Square. TMNT belong to Mirage. However, this horrid fic belongs to ME! (evil laugh)

Onto my latest work of insanity!! (dodges more rotten tomatoes…)

Note to fellow AeriSeph fans: this fic takes place in the game before Sephiroth and Aeris really know each other, I know…but let's just ignore that fact! This is a Seph/Aeris fic too. Mwahaha.

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(scene: underground sewer, hidden lair of our favorite mean, green, fighting machines. For you slow people out there: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Michaelangelo has parked his green butt in front of the TV, with a brand new PS2 next to it. Raphael walks in with their newly-delivered pizza, and looks at Mikey)

Raph: (sets the pizza on the table) "Hey, Mike, just what the hell are you doing?"

Mikey: (not looking back) "Dude, I found this PS2 just lyin in the street! So I went and bought a game, and here I am!"

Raph: "Just lying on the street?"

Mikey: "Ok, so it fell from the back of a truck, but hey! We got some video enter-tahn-ment now!"

Raph: (grabs a slice of pizza and sits down) "What game is that?"

Mike: "It's called 'Final Fantasy 7,' it's really kickin ass! I get to be this guy with spiky blonde hair, and a big ass sword!"

Raph: (mouth full) "Spiky hair? Sounds like a freak to me. Leo would probably like the sword bit."

Don: (strolling in) "Hey, Raph! Why didn't you tell me the pizza was here!"

Raph: "I figured that you'd smell it sooner or later."

Don: (grabbing a couple slices) "Ass. Hey, Mikey, what's with the equipment?"

Raph: "He stole a PS2."

Mike: (not taking his eyes off the screen) "Hey! I didn't steal it! It fell off the back of a truck!! Big difference there, amigo!"

Raph: "Whatever."

Don: "A PS2? Lemme see it!!"

Mike: "Hell no!!" (pauses the game, in the middle of the battle with Jenova-BIRTH [hey, the guy moves fast in the game!]) "ME let you touch MY PS2? Are you some kinda mad scientist, turtle bro?"

Don: "Just really quick! You can still play, I just want to see what's inside it!"

Mike: "No way!!"

Don: (fingers the reset button) "I INSIST, dear brother!"

Mike: "NO!!! Anything but that!!"

Raph: (snickers)

Mike: "FINE! Just a peek though! And I'm gonna play my game while you do it!"

Don: "Yes!" (grabs a screwdriver and walks around the TV) "This'll only take a minute."

Mike: "Fine, fine, just hurry up, dude!" (un-pauses the game and continues to beat the crap outta Jenova-BIRTH)

Don: (removes the back panel) "Wow… fancy circuitry.. no wonder it costs so much…" (thinks for a moment) "I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to tinker with it for a bit…" (starts fiddling with the wires) "Put that…here…this…here…"

Mike: "COWABUNGA, DUDES!!!! I beat the bitch!!!"

(suddenly, a bright light engulfs the room, and four figures emerge from the TV)

Raph: "What in all pizza-loving HELL did you just do, Don?"

Mike: "Whoa, dudes, check it out!"

(the light fades, revealing none other than…)

Cloud: "WHOA!!!" (blinks a few times)

Red XIII: "Hmm…interesting…this doesn't look like the cargo ship…"

Aeris: "… hey, Sephiroth!"

Seph: (blinks) "Er… Aeris? Hey!" (they hug for a minute) "Oh, and of course, the spiky failure is here as well."

Cloud: "Hey!"

Don: "I must have tripped a dimensional switch in there…or something…" (blink) "This is amazing…"

Mike: "DUDE!!! Your hair!!"

Cloud: "My hair?"

Mike: "It's spiky!"

Cloud: "Dude!"

Mike: "SWEET!!"

Aeris: (looking around) "Hey, I know you guys…"

Raph: "We're the Ninja Turtles, heroes in a half-shell, official ass-kickers of evil crap… you know."

Aeris: "You guys are my idols!"

Don: "Really?"

Seph: "Hmph… Ninja Turtles, you say?"

Mike: "That's us."

Seph: "So, what you're saying, is that this dimension is protected by a group of mutants?"

Raph: "Yeah, basically."

Red XIII: "Fascinating…"

Cloud: "Just how did we end up here, anyway?"

Raph: (sarcastically) "Ask my *dear* purple-clad brother…"

Don: (sweatdrops) "I fiddled around with the PS2, and somehow tripped a dimensional warp between your world and ours…"

Seph: (looks down at the black box) "So you're telling me that our world exists in this…contraption?"

Mike: (holds up the FF7 case) "Actually, in this!"

Aeris: "Cool! But this is all a little too scientific for me…"

Red XIII: "Perhaps we should enjoy this, as some form of a vacation."

Cloud: (sniffs) "I smell pizza…"

Mike: "WHOA! You guys have pizza in your world too?"

Red XIII: "Yes, we do."

Don: "Then let's eat!!"

(they make a mad dash for the pizza box, just as Leonardo and Splinter return from sparring)

Splinter: (taken aback) "What on earth is going on here?"

Leonardo: (swords drawn) "Who the hell are you people?!"

Sephiroth: (draws Masamune) "You challenge the Great Sephiroth?"

Cloud: "Great?! HAHA, don't make me laugh! I'm tryin to eat here! Ahaa---erk!"

(Cloud is interrupted when Seph jabs Masamune into the air, only _millimeters_ from Spikey-boy's scrawny neck)

Sephiroth: "I won't hesitate to cut you down here and now!"

Red XIII: "Let's all calm down now…no need for fighting…"

(Sephiroth ponders for a moment, then sheaths Masamune)

Splinter: "That's quite enough!" (he turns to Donatello) "My son, perhaps you could explain…"

Donatello: (sweatdrop) "Yes…Master Splinter…y'see, Mikey got this new video game and I, er, tinkered with it…"

Raphael: "He screwed around with that black box over ther—eak!" (gets twacked across the back of his head by Don's Bo)

Don: "…and the next thing we knew these four people emerged!"

Splinter: "I see…so you do not associate with the Shredder…"

Aeris: "Shredder? Who's that?"

Cloud: "I know what a Shredder is!"

Leo: (raises his swords) "You do?!"

Cloud: "Oh yeah! That little box that you put paper through…"

(everybody else in the room has their hand to their forehead…)

Cloud: "And it turns the paper into these strips! They're so cool!"

Sephiroth: "Shut the hell up already."

Aeris: (knocks him out with her staff) "No problem there."

Red XIII: (comes forward to Splinter) "I beg your pardon for my friends. But may I ask for the privilege of staying in your home until we find a way back to our world?"

Splinter: "Yes, you are all welcome here."

Mikey: "You better like pizza though!"

Raph: "Speakin' of which, we're due for a redose."

Mikey: "I'll handle it!" (dashes to the phone)

Leo: "I apologize for my…er, temper."

Seph: "Don't worry. It's nice to find a similar swordsman out there."

Don: "Hey, Raph's a bigger threat in that department anyway!"

Raph: (twirling a Sai with one hand) "Yeah, I'd watch out for me if I was you."

Heheh….review…. please? 


End file.
